Grief and loss processing

After the death of a loved one. The death of a loved one Every day many people are faced with the death of a loved one. Such loss is one of the saddest and most dramatic events in human life. From one moment to the nearest road-final. That farewell life changes forever, even if it was not unexpected. Survivors, such as partner, parents or children, are often not only overwhelmed by grief, but also feelings of bewilderment, disbelief or anger. People say afterwards that they felt to be mad or be stunned. Other relatives, friends, colleagues, classmates and teachers often death comes as a shock. The mourning process During the mourning process of surviving the pain of loss gradually. He or she says goodbye, gradually accepts the final absence of loved one and trying to adapt to the resulting void. Immediately after death some people experience a feeling of unreality. The death of the loved one looks bad dream from which they wake up soon. Other people feel almost nothing, their feeling is like ‘dead’. Still others find the death of the loved one so painful that she first denied. Some people are totally bewildered, the other responds very very calm. If someone has just died many practical issues must be settled, for example, burial or cremation. Therefore, the first time, often as a pass rush. The loss often calls until thereafter through really. Then the survivors realize what it means for their lives. This is the hardest and saddest time. Later, following a period when people try to accept the change and adapt. This is by trial and error. They make careful plans for the future again. Also socially and practically apply them to themselves. They impose such new contacts, address a hobby or study, or even volunteering to move. Days when someone very busy with the loss, alternating with times when the emotions remain at a distance. Different reactions Survivors are afraid that soon their reactions to the death of a loved one are not normal. They fear that their grief is too heavy or too long, or whether they show too little grief. It is important to know that every person in his own manner leads to death of a loved one. Everyone mourns the way he or she needs. The reactions can therefore vary widely. One will need a lot to talk about the deceased or together for photos or videos to watch. The other is just pulls back, looks at the pictures alone preferably processed or loss through hard work, sports or jobs. Men are often tempted to stop their losses some way. They focus on such work. Women typically have greater need to talk. Some families keep everything as it was possible: they show the stuff of the partners in their place are, keep the room of deceased children intact and continue to follow the daily routine. Others just change everything: they remove the belongings of the deceased, move, or find new friends. Some people prefer to avoid places that remind of the deceased. The culture in which people grow up affects the way they deal with their loss and express emotions. The customs and ceremonies surrounding death and burial range from subdued and sober farewell to loud condolences and solidarity in food, dancing and singing. The grief is shared by the entire community. Often relatives and friends also later meet regularly to support each other and to commemorate the deceased. Tips for survivors – Try the first days after the death as aware as possible and as much as possible to make yourself do. This helps to take leave. – Do not be afraid to involve children in practical matters surrounding the death. – Tell children specifically, honestly and clearly what is going on. Statements like “Daddy sleeps for ever ‘or” God has taken your sister to him because he loved her was “can make a child afraid to sleep or make defiant – Go away from your feelings. They would not take off. Do not think you feel such anger or rage, not ‘hear’ or ‘good’. – Talk, if you need it with trusted people about your feelings, the deceased or events surrounding the death. – You can also handle loss through exercise, listening to music, a diary, to jobs, to sign. It is important that you find the way that suits you. – Especially if you have a “movie’ in your head on the last day (s) for death, it may help to write about life and your loved one. – Give yourself time. The process may take longer than you might expect – Tell people what you like about your environment, such as whether or not the loss talking or doing something. – Try to keep structure in the day, by time to get up, eat three times a day (though it is so little), do the housework and go to bed on time. – Step by step Try to resume a life example and go along with someone or take a walk, even if you find that a big step. – If you do not have to take leave of your loved one may help to hold a farewell ceremony. – Find more information about grief and loss processing in bookstores, libraries or the Internet. – Liaise with peers, a funeral coach or professional counselor if you need it has. Tips for environment – Accept the emotions and behavior of the survivor. Give the person his own way of processing. – Be careful when giving advice and talk present guilt remains – Take initiatives and make concrete arrangements with surviving. Agree a date for a visit or take off something together. – Do not be afraid to talk about the deceased. The collection of beautiful and funny, but also helps memory loss difficult to process. – Be not afraid to say or do wrong. There ‘are’, listen and support, it is most important. – Provide assistance to practical matters, especially things that the deceased took his or her account, for example the administration or care of the children. Just be sure not to take over all issues. – Do not jump to the survivors now over the loss will be around. Over time, the grieving by themselves might not dare talk about the loss. So stay long, and inform them how it goes.

more info dutch

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: